pair of feet standing on a wood floor, next to a broom and dust collector

Why am I so Frustrated?

I’m a procrasti-cleaner. I procrastinate writing by cleaning. In the middle of cleaning, I say to myself, “Madeline. You’re doing it again.” Then I get frustrated with myself; “Why can’t I just sit and write my paper?!”

I listened to a podcast that helped me reframe my frustration. While the podcast primarily focused on sleep, the overarching idea shared was this: when you are frustrated with yourself, you are more likely to waste time and less likely to reach your personal goal. When approaching writing, I wanted to figure out why I was getting frustrated with myself about cleaning so I could better focus on my writing.

So, when I noticed my frustration increasing, I welcomed it, took a deep breath, and I asked myself why I was getting so frustrated with my mess. I realized that I value organization, and my environment typically impacts the way I feel. When my environment is messy, I feel messy and what I am writing feels messy; thus, I clean the mess. My environment, my cleaning, my feeling, and my writing are all connected. Once I understood that my environment was impacting my feelings and my writing because of my values, I was able to better understand where my frustration was coming from and be compassionate to myself for procrasti-cleaning.

In attempts to prevent future frustration, I worked around what caused my frustration; I am more careful of where I write and plan time to clean my space before writing. I decreased my procrasti-cleaning and frustration by working with my value and found myself better able to focus on my writing. I’ve even liked myself a little more too.